Getting Educated...

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from EMPLOYEES, it will be our policy to keep all EMPLOYEES well taught through our programme of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (SHIT). We are trying to give our EMPLOYEES more SHIT than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of SHIT on the course, please see your Team Lead. You will be immediately placed at the top of the SHIT list, and our Team Lead are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the SHIT you can handle.

EMPLOYEES who don't take their SHIT will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (DEEP SHIT). Those who fail to take DEEP SHIT seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (EAT SHIT). Since our Team Lead took SHIT before they graduated, they don't have to do SHITanymore, and are all full of SHIT already.

If you are full of SHIT, you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDINGLECTURE LIST (BULL SHIT).

For EMPLOYEES who are intending to pursue a career in management and consultancy, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (MORE SHIT). This course emphasizes on how to manage MORE SHIT.

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (HOT SHIT).

Best Regards
THE EMPLOYEE