Leader or Manager?

Leadership is the art of accomplishing more than the science of management says is possible. A leader goes where there is no path and takes others with him or he leaves a trail for others to follow. A manager follows a trail and may bring others with him on the journey. He may direct others to follow the trail. A manager helps people to see themselves as they are. A leader helps people to see themselves better than they are. 

A leader composes the music from an idea in his head. A manager can direct the orchestra using the music written by the composer. A manager thinks that unless he has been explicitly told (Yes), he can't do it. A leader thinks that unless he has been explicitly told (No), he can do it. A leader will take chances and experiment. He is prudent, not reckless. A manager will weigh the pros and cons and decide what to do based on that analysis or his experiences or the experiences of others. 

A leader takes action without direction from others. Without guidance from regulations and policies, the leader acts using his best judgement to achieve a goal that he visualizes. A manager interprets regulations and policies and takes action based on those regulations and achieves goals set by others. A manager monitors the action. A leader influences the action. 

A leader has confidence in his ability and that of his subordinates. A manager has confidence in his ability to minimize risk through analysis and planning. A manager will make sure blame is affixed in accordance with the facts and credit is fairly and evenly distributed. A leader will take less than his share of the credit and more than his share of the blame - Pream Anand

WINNERS VS. LOSERS

A Winner always has a program. 

A Loser always has an excuse. 

A Winner says "Let me do it for you." 

A Loser says "That's not my job." 

A Winner is always part of the answer. 

A Loser is always part of the problem. 

A Winner sees an answer for every problem. 

A Loser sees a problem in every answer. 

A Winner looks for opportunities, to find someone doing something right. 

A Loser looks for opportunities, to find someone doing something wrong. 

A Winner says "It may be difficult, but it's possible." 

A Loser says "It may be possible, but it's too difficult." 

A Winner accepts responsibility, for what they do, right or wrong. 

A Loser accepts responsibility, for what they do right, 

And blames others, for what they do wrong. 

14 Ways to be GREAT MAN in Life!

1. Compliment three people everyday.

2. Watch a sunrise at least once a year.

3. Be the first to say hello.

4. Live beneath your means.

5. Treat everyone like you would want to be treated.

6. Never give up on anybody; miracles happen.

7. Never deprive someone of hope; it may be all they have.

8. Pray not for things, but for wisdom and courage.

9. Be tough-minded, but tenderhearted.

10. Be kinder than necessary.

11. Keep your promises.

12. Learn to show cheerfulness, even when you don't feel like it.

13. Remember that overnight success usually takes about 15 years.

14. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

12 Step Gentleman Guide

1.

Good hygiene is a must. Don't just use a bar of soap/body shower gel, but do scrub yourself. Make sure ears have no wax in them and that privates and facial hair are clean and at least trimmed nicely. When applying deodorant or cologne, don"t use a lot. Also, make sure you don't use too much hair gel (it"s sticky). 

2 

Pay attention to how you look. Wear clothes that fit your body well, eliminate flashy clothing and avoid fashion (i.e. baseball hats cocked slightly to the side). A simpler wardrobe will keep the emphasis on you, not your clothes, which will change your outlook. Get regular haircuts. 

3 

A true gentleman is polite to everyone, in action and words. Always be aware of how you can help people. Wait an extra few seconds to hold the door for the person behind you. Offer to help an old or pregnant person get their grocery bags to the car. You don"t have to be paranoid or risk killing yourself (i.e if you"ve got a precarious grip on something heavy, don't open the door for someone) but respect is paramount. Even if someone is being silly, be polite and respectful. 

4 

Be prepared to ask questions or make statements of courtesy, like "may I help you?", or "let me get that for you", or "I"ll take care of that". 

5 

Don't swear. Ever. Don"t speak of vulgar matter. If it"s too difficult to stop cursing all-together, tone it down a lot. 

6 

Don't stare at and old women/man or say anything degrading to or about them. 

7 

In public, don't  fart, speak too loudly, be overly demanding/offensive, or drink heavily. A gentleman is always in control of himself, body and mind. 

8 

Give girls a little extra respect. Don't be obsequious, but neofeminism has kind of gotten rid of some basic politeness that they'll appreciate, such as opening car/building doors, etc. Don't put every girl on a pedestal (we're all human), but they'll really appreciate it if you do them favors, like giving up your seat on the bus even though they're not carrying anything heavy. 

9 

Don't talk about yourself much. On the other hand, girls like to know a little bit about you so they can understand what you are talking about sometimes. In addition to making you a much more desirable conversationalist, it will make you seem more mysterious to not share too much, which many women find attractive. Get a basic idea of what"s going on in music, sports, and politics. 

10 

Learn to either avoid politics and religion until you know someone better, and learn how to be neutral if someone else brings it up. A simple shrug will do wonders. A gentleman doesn't make other people uncomfortable. 

11 

Pay attention to the fact that the world is more threatening for girls: they're automatically targets at night or in bad neighborhoods. Walk her to her door (or car) if at all possible. It doesn't matter how strong she actually is, if you're a girl people will go at you first, whereas by virtue of being male you"re safer. If your girl has to park far away from her dorm or home, always offer to drive her to and from your destination. She will appreciate how caring you are about her safety. 

12 

Remember to keep doing nice things for your girlfriend when you're around her. If she"s carrying something, pick it up when she puts it down and always kindly let her know by saying "oh, let me get that for you", whatever the object is. Remember, being selfish is not attractive. If you are watching television with your girl and you know she likes a particular show or sporting event, leave it there

by Pream Anand Tharmalingam aka DJ BABY JOE BLACK

1st Year Wedding Anniversary

Dear Wife Marie Jean Xavier,

How one whole year has come and gone is absolutely beyond me. Time speeds by around us so quickly it seems like twelve months have zoomed by in half the time, but it seems as if this has been my reality for so much longer. I can hardly remember what it’s like to not have you in my life.

It still makes me laugh that in the beginning months of our relationship, people would see us together and be surprised when they found out we were only friends then. ‘You seem like you've been together for five or ten years.’ Even strangers would say this; and hearing it would fill me with such a sense of pride that I am in the very relationship I imagined when I was in young. I was hoping to have that sweetheart type of relationship, and I’m very glad to know that I didn't have to be in high school or college to have it.

There is so much that I want to say, but I have no idea how to categorize it and explain it into something DEEP of what I feel for you. Which I believe you already know how much I love you. So much has happened in just this one year, but having the constant comfort of you by my side has made me feel like I can do anything. I have more hope and expectation for myself now than ever before. I have always wanted to pave myself the best life possible, but I am so humbled to have you here in my life now, that having you here has made me see beyond myself. My goals are now yours and your goals are now mine, and I am not ashamed of saying that I would prefer to build a life with you than to try and strive for greatness on my own. I see us as a power couple. I see us as the couple that everyone wants to be. I see us spending our lives pushing each other further, neither of us satisfied until the other is ahead. Right now, we don’t have a lot, but I promise you darling, we will be extraordinary. I know this in my very being.

Once upon a time, I was very afraid that I would not be able to recognize love when it failed me. Though I knew, I hardly even realized that I've been preparing myself for this. Every lesson I've learned and been thru has only made us a better couple and now a better HUSBAND & WIFE. Being in love and being loved feels so good. I wish everyone in the world could experience even half, even a quarter of our love; the world would definitely be a much better place.

I have received more love, caring, and consideration from you in twelve months that I have from most that I've known my entire life. They say that you should treat others how you wish to be treated, and this is so true in that the very love you have given me is what I have used to love you in return. Your love, intense, yet playful, innocent and pure, it fills me with so much peace. It is always just enough. I can pray to god that I won't break my promise made to your dad that he advice to me in front of everyone during our wedding dinner SPEECH. A sad tear drop from your eyes would be like a tear drop of bleeding blood from my HEART. I promise to you that I will spend the rest of my life trying to make sure you only be given the TEARS OF JOY.

With all this said and done, Happy Anniversary My Minion WIFE, I LOVE YOU TILL MY LAST BREATH AND SOUL - Pream Anand Tharmalingam

Mr. & Mrs Pream Anand Tharmalingam 1st Year Wedding Anniversary MARK!!!

Dear Marie Jean Xavier,

I can't believe I am saying this already, but, I am. Happy Anniversary, honey. We have now been married for a whole year. On our wedding day, this milestone seemed so far away. I thought it would never get here. But it's here. And it came fast. Just look how times flies. We are no longer newlyweds, in the traditional sense of the term. We are now just an old married couple. For real.

And I love it.

I love waking up next to your beautiful (Chipmunk) face each day. I love falling asleep beside you each night. I love crashing on the couch with you after a long day. I love eating kuaci,watching movies and listening to my video clips with you each passing night in my daily life. I love knowing that I can be myself around you. And I love knowing that you are yourself around me. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I love your kind HEART. I love your  sexy SMILE. I love your beautiful EYES (and hope our children get it one day). I love your tendency to correct my international ENGLISH all the time when I misspell and mispronounce certain words. I love the look you get on your face when you concentrate. I love the high-pitched laugh you burst out. I love your tendency to have no patience, as neither of us can claim this trait.

Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for being my rock. Thank you for being my biggest supporter and most constant fan. Thank you for working so hard for our family. Thank you for spoiling me. Thank you for making my world a better place. Thank you for being you my WIFE!!!!

The best thing I ever did was marry you and loving you to DEATH. I will never regret it. I can't wait to see what the next year holds for us. We have been so blessed in the past year, I can't imagine it being any better - but somehow it always is. 

from the bottom of my HEART DEAR WIFE, I am willing to MARRY you all over again and again and again, every single breath left in my LIFE - your husband Pream Anand Tharmalingam